Pwn The Net

Think that your local and state law agencies really care about your safety… They don’t. The nonsensical traffic laws are proof of this fact. These laws are designed to maximize big business and government revenue. These laws have hindered efficient automobile travel and turned every driver into a criminal. The interstate traffic laws need to be rewritten with some common sense.

President Eisenhower authorized the Interstate Highway System back in 1956. It’s original purpose for national defense. Many people believed that it was to create runways for airplanes to takeoff and land… this is incorrect. It was actually to allow land vehicles to travel quickly between states to move supplies and troops on moments notice. The economic and social impact of the interstate system would prove to be much more significant. The interstates would help transport goods from city to city and make the road trip a new college adventure.

The 55 MPH Speed Limit

In the 1970s during the oil embargo, Congress decided it would be a good idea to set the speed limit at 55 MPH and created the National Maximum Speed Law. The intentions of the law were good, but in reality it had no measurable impact on the oil shortage.

As far as physics is concerned a relatively slower speed gets you more miles per gallon (MPG) than a faster speed because of drag. (Drag = 0.5 * airdensity * velocity^2 * carsurfacearea * dragcoefficient). This equation shows it is not a linear relationship: every time you double your speed the drag increases by 4 times. So the slower the relative speed, the less drag your car will experience. You also have to account for other factors such as the engine efficiency, the tires, the road surface, etc., but I’m going to keep it simple. A 40 MPH speed would ensure a greater MPG, but politicians still had to appease the automobile industry and citizens. A 55 MPH national speed limit was decided to keep the interstate moving without wasting too much gas.

Obviously these politicians did not study economics, and thus the artificially low price of gasoline caused shortages. In some states people could only buy gas on certain days of the week, and long lines at the gas station were common. Although people got more miles per gallon at 55 MPH, they just ended up driving farther. These methods did not work.

Besides, a 55 MPH speed limit was too slow even in the 1970s. The limits were widely ignored by drivers and law enforcement had to dedicate many more officers to the interstate to stop speeding. Drivers began to get speeding tickets much more frequently, and states began to notice that speeding tickets were an easy source of money.

Drivers suffered on the slow interstates until 1987 when the limit was finally raised to 65 MPH, which was still too slow. In 1995 the federal law was repealed, letting the states decide the speed limit.

Highway Robbery!

By 1995 insurance companies were using new methods to increase their profits. One way of doing this is to charge “risky” drivers more for their premiums than “safe” drivers. Considering how many people had gotten tickets for speeding, the insurance companies saw the potential for huge increases in revenue. A speeding ticket automatically puts a driver into the “risky” category and the insurance companies were allowed to charge these drivers more. (2 speeding tickets is often enough to raise insurance premiums by more than 50%!) And insurance companies did the most profitable thing and lobbied state governments heavily to keep the speed limits very low.

The state governments also had their own self interests to protect. Speeding tickets had become a huge source of revenue, and most municipalities could literally not afford to raise the limits. To prevent the limits from being raised studies were falsified and statistics were manipulated to show that “excessive speed” (also notice the vague language) was the major culprit of interstate traffic accidents. This is totally wrong! The US National Motorists Association has looked at numerous government studies, and has a very thorough explanation for what causes accidents. Speeding has been studied in other countries as well (Australia, UK) and the same conclusions are made. SPEEDING DOES NOT KILL!

The Slow And Oblivious Causes Of Traffic Accidents

Realistically it’s distracted drivers and motorists traveling 10 or more MPH under the speed of traffic that are major culprits of traffic accidents. Hence going the speed limit can often make your vehicle the causative factor for a traffic accident.

I hate to stereotype drivers, but after getting stuck in traffic once again, I have decided to list the worst types of drivers on the highway. Police should target these driver immediately and leave the rest of us alone.

Too Old To Be Driving

The most dangerous drivers on the interstate are the Too Old To Be Driving drivers. These senior citizens often drive around in brand new Cadillacs, Lincolns, or Buicks. You can instantly tell when you see one of these drivers because their hair is stark-white and transparent. If it’s an elderly man driving, he will be accompanied by an elderly woman in the passenger seat. If it’s an elderly woman driving she will either be alone or with another woman. When the woman is driving she will lean up as close as possible to the steering wheel and, if you’re behind her, you won’t be able to see her head through the back window. It’s advised to avoid these drivers at all costs.

The “too old to be driving” drivers have an incredible ability to cause both traffic jams and accidents on weekdays from 9-3 PM, and anytime on Sundays. They can be found in the middle and right lanes of the interstate, and will be traveling at least 15 MPH below the speed limit. As cars race around them, some people will honk their horns and others will purposely cut them off. This has no discernible effect on them. Inexperienced drivers and large trucks end up getting stuck behind them and a long line of cars will accumulate starting a jam. The lanes next to the elderly driver become especially dangerous because cars will pull out unexpectedly and cannot accelerate fast enough to enter the surrounding lanes. The “too old to be driving” driver is a hazard to everyone on the highway because of their slow speed. Police should target these drivers first and get them off the road.

The Distracted

Distracted drivers are responsible for 80% of all accidents! The Distracted includes Gabbers, Sleepyheads and a lot of other irresponsible drivers.

Gabbers feels the need to spend every fucking second driving while on the cellphone. Because the Gabber is visible holding their cell phone, they cause a disproportionate amount of road rage. Gabbers tend to be younger, but they can be of any age and found driving every type of car. The easiest way to identify a Gabber is to look for their suspended arm and their hand over their ear.

Sleepyheads are difficult to identify, but are more often seen with truck drivers and shift workers. The rest of the Distracted include people who eat, apply makeup, yell at their kids, DJ, read, text-message, watch movies, dance, masturbate, drink, smoke, and/or use drugs while driving. It’s definitely acceptable to distract yourself for a moment while you are stopped at a stoplight, but it’s idiotic to distract yourself while driving on the interstate. These people fail to realize that you can kill yourself and others while traveling at 55 MPH. They do not pay attention to the road.

On the interstate the Distracted will often sway in and out of their lane, will not pay attention to the speed of traffic, and will make much more sudden stops. The Distracted take their eyes off the road more frequently and their reaction time is also much slower than other drivers. When something suddenly happens that requires a quick reaction, they fail. The Distracted are statistically the most likely to cause an accident, but police officers target these drivers the least.

The Roadblock

The Roadblock is probably responsible for the greatest amount of road rage and fender benders on the interstate. These drivers typically drive station waggons or minivans, but land rovers, pickups and suburbans are also not uncommon. What these drivers will do is pull into the left lane, find a slow moving car or semi in the lane to the right, and then match speeds with them. By doing this they have effectively created a slow moving roadblock and this will prevent everyone behind them from passing. There is nothing that you can do to this driver to get them out of the left lane; you can tailgate them, honk your horn, flash you lights, shoot at them with your gun, and still they will not speed up.

The Roadblock is very hard headed and feels that everyone should share their point of view. Accordingly they often liter their vehicle with political bumper stickers and other propaganda. They are so socially immature that they feel that it is their moral obligation to force you and everyone else on the highway to drive the speed limit. The police never pull over roadblocks because they always travel about 5 MPH under the speed limit, and instead ticket the tailgaters behind them. Not even death threats seem to deter the road block.

The police could easily stop this problem right now. The left lane is for PASSING and police officers should quickly ticket the roadblock for their shenanigans. This will please everyone, and happy drivers are safer than angry ones.

Failure to Accelerate

The Failure to Accelerate driver makes getting on and off the interstate very dangerous. This driver has a more diverse range of cars including subcompacts, compacts, waggons, minivans, junkers, and the occasional SUV and midsize. When you are getting onto the highway you never want to get stuck behind one of these drivers. The Failure to Accelerate driver does not understand that the on-ramp is supposed to be used for accelerating to highway speeds. They will typically travel 30-40 MPH down the entire stretch of the ramp before attempting to merge onto the interstate. The traffic in the right lane of the interstate traveling 55-65 MPH is often forced to rapidly slow down for this driver, and it is not uncommon to see the Failure to Accelerate driver hit from behind.

If you make the mistake of following or tailing the Failure to Accelerate driver you will put yourself at risk of getting hit from behind. So if you know you are stuck behind a Failure to Accelerate driver it is usually better to irritate the drivers behind you by slowing down even more. This will create a buffer between you and the idiot, giving you and everyone else more time to accelerate to highway speeds and merge safely.

While I have never seen a Failure to Accelerate driver get a ticket for their reckless driving, I have twice witnessed these idiots hit by oncoming traffic. I think that speaks volumes.

The Solutions:

Give Officers A Video Camera, Not A Radar Gun

Cops have gotten very good at sitting in hard-to-see spots and pointing a radar gun at oncoming traffic. This allows them to identify the speed of each car and then ticket the speeders. Why can’t the officer sit in those exact same spots with a high-resolution video camera and record motorists driving dangerously? Radar guns cost as much, if not more, than a video cameras, and like the radar gun all you have to do is point the camera and shoot. Most officers already have a video camera mounted in their car anyway. How difficult would it really be to give them a “video camera gun”?

“Video camera guns” would give officers the ability to catch the culprit of 80% of all accidents: the distracted motorist. They would have video evidence of these poor drivers trying to multi task on the road and it would be easy to ticket or prosecute.

Get Rid Of The Speed Limit On The Freeway

If our government really cared about our safety then 30 MPH would be the maximum interstate speed, but safety is not the main concern. All Americans can travel at least 65 MPH on their state freeway, and accidents at these speeds frequently kill people. So why not do the smart thing eliminate the speed limit and make the interstates efficient once again?

Besides, removing the speed limit would make the freeway safer. For starters road rage would decrease because people would finally be able to travel at speeds appropriate to the conditions. Police officers would have no other option but to target the dangerous drivers by observing the behaviors of motorists. Individual drivers would become safer because they could keep their eyes on the road longer, instead of having to check the speedometer frequently. And most importantly both highways and cars would be designed for efficient, speedy travel, and not for multitasking idiots.

Most likely however the police will continue to target speeders and driver distraction will become progressively worse… When will we eliminate human error and invent computer driven cars?